THE 12 HOURS THAT WE DECIDED NOT TO BELIEVE IN GOD
Religion in America has led many people into confusion with the mask of Satanism in churches, the overly strict dogma pushed on children by parents that sling-shot them into the complete opposite direction later in life, many of them ending up on a stripper pole, as we have witnessed, and the apathetic attitude and nonexistent presence of religion and faith in homes. In our home, religion was not really emphasized, but our grandmother read the Holy Bible every day and had great faith In the Lord. I don’t think there was ever a day at our grandmother’s house where she was not thanking our Dear Lord for something. Our grandmother had an open bible on an antique clawfoot table that she proudly displayed for anyone to take a peek at and read. We often time thumbed through the delicate pages, but didn’t truly understand what those versus meant, for we were so young, and the language was so complex. Our mother would tuck us in at bedtime and encourage us to say a prayer, but she didn’t really elaborate on God or religion and what it all truly meant.
As young adults we studied different philosophies and tried to find our way in the religious landscape. We always had a belief in God but knew that there was something missing from the equation that we had not found yet. We had so many unanswered questions, as all of us on this earth do. Why are we here? What is my life purpose? Where did we come from? Who is in charge? What is the meaning of life? But the one question that we never questioned was the existence of God, because it is something that speaks to many of us from deep within our Souls.
We had met a full spectrum of people from different religious backgrounds in our line of work, dancing in strip clubs, and touring the world with our, “Fetish-Burlesque,” shows, and could always feel the light illuminating from those with deep religious faith. We are very in tune with energy and vibration, as most of us are, and could always feel a type of, what we would call a cement wall-like block whenever we met an Atheist. We respect everyone’s freedoms and choices of religion, God, or no religion or God at all, because we all come to this earth with our own free will, and however we find our way or do not find our way in life while we are here is up to us. However, the Atheist always felt a certain way to us, like their white light was dimmed and gray. (Sorry Atheists it’s just our honest observations of we felt that happened time and time again.) Sometimes we would ask point blank to a person we met if they were an Atheist, because their brick wall was so strong. Conversations get very personal in strip clubs, so this was never an attack on someone’s belief but was just a query of sorts to quench our curiosity to the energy we were sensing. We are all vibration and energy, and the high vibrational energy that transmits from one human to another can be something to marvel at. You can feel so much in the briefest of exchanges from one person to the next.
As we maneuvered our way through this life, we stumbled upon an author and psychic by the name of, Sylvia Browne, while touring and passing through an airport bookstore. The book was entitled: “Phenomenon, Everything You Need to Know About the Paranormal,” and was a fascinating read on Sylvia’s philosophy on the afterlife, why we are here, Christ, and so much more. We would go on to read many of Sylvia Browne’s books with great vigor. She was answering so many question that we had, and when we returned home from our flight after discovering our first Sylvia Browne book, and walked through the door of our house, where our mother and good friend were waiting for us, they both exclaimed, “What happened to you two, you look different, you are glowing.” Apparently, Sylvia Browne had noticeably turned our light on from within, that must have been dimmed.
Sylvia Browne stirred something deep inside of our hearts and we felt that we were on the path to discovering and uncovering answers that we had been longing and searching for. Our minds began to expand through Sylvia’s knowledge and study of many of the ancient religions that she was so passionate about, which overflowed onto the pages of her books. Before Sylvia Browne became a world-renowned psychic, she was going to become a nun, but at the last minute, she fell in love and the course of her life changed entirely, as she married and had two children. God must have had a different plan for Sylvia Browne.
“Sylvia’s philosophy of life is based upon research into past lives, via hypnosis, and through the information obtained via Sylvia’s deep trance channeling ability. From thousands of hypnotic regressions and hundreds of trance sessions, the fact of reincarnation was established as the key to understanding life. Sylvia accepts reincarnation as a central theme in her philosophy, yet this belief is never forced upon anyone who does not want to hear it. Sylvia always says, “Take with you what you want and leave the rest behind.” She is also strongly Pro God, but again does not force the issue. Sylvia liked to tell people, “It does not matter if you believe in God, because God believes in you.” To further her goals, Sylvia formed another organization in 1986, the Society of Novus Spiritus (meaning New Spirit) based upon a Christian Gnostic theology. She has trained ministers to actively help spread her philosophy. Her goals are to give aid to the infirm, shelter to the homeless, and establish a spiritual community that loves God (both the Father and Mother God) without the sin and guilt found in most of today’s faiths.”
Sylvia Browne helped strengthen our faith in God, which had never wavered except for the one day in 2014, when it seemed that the adversity, frustration, struggle, and strife that had taken an iron grip on our life, was never going to submit. We went on our dog walk that day contemplating the reality that we were facing on a day to day basis, and as we approached the train tracks toward the end of our walk, that were somewhat of a cross-roads on this day, we, for the first time ever in our life, questioned the existence of God. We crossed over the train tracks and pondered the world, our own existence of why we were truly here, and why everything in our life continued to fall apart on a regular basis. We decided that we would cast aside God for the day, and left God at those train tracks, in exchange for believe in nothingness.
We went to dance at one of our favorite strip clubs that night, and something felt very empty inside of both of us. A hopelessness beyond words permeated through the loud blaring music of the club. We both felt a dark, bleak, vast, infinite void encompass our reality. We were both busy working and did not discuss this phenomenon which was occurring from within each of us until the end of the night on the drive home. We literally both looked at each other in the car nearly simultaneously and exclaimed that not believing in God was the worst feeling ever! It felt like a downward spiral of despair on its way to Hell that wanted to invade and take over our light that God had been protecting. The God strike was over indefinitely and only lasted twelve hours.
My (Amber) path, quest, and search for God and the true origins to what faith was right for me would eventually appear, as we approach this 2020 new year. With the state of the world in what we believe is an apocalypse playing out before our eyes, I believe that the only thing that can save us in our Lord Jesus Christ. May we all find our faith, our God, our religion, our path, and work together to defeat this Evil reigning Hell and terror on this earth in its tracks!